But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
this boner is exhausting
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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