that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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