margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize