that's an acceptable place to lick
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
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Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
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I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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