This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
