Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize