can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
