he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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