you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
