Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
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He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
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I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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