Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
