physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
