I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
