if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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