Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize