Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Is it because I queefed?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
