He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
