No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize