I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
