I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
