Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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