I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
