hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
