end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
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so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
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"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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