he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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