I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
