LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I didn't notice because vodka
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
