Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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