Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
