1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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