oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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