Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
