I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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