just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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