her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
