So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
