It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
