The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
