Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
me + whiskey = a bad person
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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