im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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