Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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