the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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