Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
