had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
