I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
