to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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