Dual....:-)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
