just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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