I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
