I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
