i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize