no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize