Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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