someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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