Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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