On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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