Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
