The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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