Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
