dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
